I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
