No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
