Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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