My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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