Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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