obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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