I am in a vortex of obligation.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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