Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
