I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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