i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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