Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
