And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
