I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i think i just lost a toe
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
