Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
