Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
