Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
