I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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