Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
