He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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