Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
