I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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