oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
