There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize