I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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