think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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