so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
