I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
