hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
