The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
