I must be too annoying 4 u.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize