My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I need a burrito and a hug.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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