Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
