Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
