It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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