the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize