nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
