Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Im part way to drunk.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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