Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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