i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
