Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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