You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
