Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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