If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
