yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We just shotgunned beers for America
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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