i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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