I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
