Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
