Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
