Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
His nipple licking is glorious
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