Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
