Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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