i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
