hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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