I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize