ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
