another moral hangover. fuck.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
