I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
