You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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