Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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