just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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