Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
