he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
