this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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