dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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