windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
someone owes me an orgasm
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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