How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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