He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
