Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm too high and old for this...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
