Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
